From Within, Right?
Posted in Uncategorized on 09/19/2009 10:41 pm by ladyleslieI don’t know who to–Can’t trust anyone–Want to be by myself, left alone–and how can I make sure that–I don’t want that to happen, or this, or that other thing–
STOP.
I’m ready to get hurt again, to die, to be betrayed again–Better to be prepared, isn’t it?
STOP. STOP.
I want . . .
YES. Yes?
I want . . . to be . . .
I want to be worshiped like a goddess idol.
I want my husband to run his workman hands over my rounded curves and delight in me. I want to eat exactly what I want, when I want it. I want to be somewhere safe. I want to play music and dance if I feel like it. I want to wear what I WANT TO WEAR, even if it gets wet in the pool. I want to lounge in warm water and invite the rushes through my womb.
I want to be left with my love so we can kiss and sway and dance, and do things that aren’t allowed on television. I want an ecstatic birth!
PETA can go screw themselves because I want to luxuriate on lambswool or rich soft animal furs NAKED. I want to allow myself to feel that beautiful, rolling, purring connection with my physicality.
I want to love being pregnant this time JUST AS MUCH or more than I did the first time around. And I want . . . candles. Back rubs. Whispered devotions.
I want to open wide and give birth to my baby. On the bed, the floor, in the pool . . . where ever. But I WANT TO DO IT this time.
I want to be the first person to touch my baby, and I want Brad to be the second person, and Bailey the third. I want to hold my own baby skin-to-skin and just hang on for dear life because I missed that with my first baby.
I want a healthy birth. I want a healthy baby. And the best way to do that, is to take care of myself, and work WITH my body . . . and enjoy the ride.
That’s what I want.
Just to enjoy it.
11/27/2009 at 10:35 pm
Hi there! Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I’m not pregnant right now, but I have decided I want to have a water birth. I’m fine with a home birth or a more relaxing birthing center type place. I have always been so at home in water. I love pretty much everything about it. I want to at least labor in water if nothing else. My husband thinks I’m nuts and that I will be demanding an epidural. Not only that, but he doesn’t believe in doing anything the non medical way. He is a nurse after all. He’s seen first hand what can go wrong. That’s scared him into thinking a birth in any other place than a hospital is utterly dangerous. Granted, there are things that can go wrong, but if the baby and me are healthy is there any reason not to attempt it? I don’t have any living babies yet. I was pregnant once before and miscarried at around 6 weeks July 23. How can I convince my husband that water birth is a great option and what I think is best if my future baby and I are both plenty healthy enough for it?
I found a link to this website in your profile on a certain betta forum and find all of this fascinating! All your posts really do answer lots of my questions and inspire me to try to make birth the best experience of my life.
11/29/2009 at 9:07 pm
First of all, congratulations! I hope you have a beautiful pregnancy ahead! Secondly, I’m sorry you don’t have your husband’s support. There is no reason you should go to the hospital “just in case” if you’re having a normal, healthy pregnancy. In fact, going to the hospital “just in case” often times causes more problems than it prevents.
You need his support, so I think it’s time to pull out the big guns. Will he read books? My suggestions for both of you are:
-Your Best Birth by Ricki Lake, Abby Epstein, and Jacques Moritz
-Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin
-The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer
-Birth Without Violence by M.D. Frederick Leboyer
-(oldie but goodie, “father” of natural childbirth) Childbirth without Fear: The Principles and Practice of Natural Childbirth by Grantly Dick-Read
Then to REALLY challenge his medical view of birth:
-Immaculate Deception by Suzanne Arms
-Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care by Jennifer Block
Documentaries to rent (many available via Netflix):
The Business of Being Born
Pregnant in America
Orgasmic Childbirth
(I haven’t see this one, but it has a lot of beautiful water births) Birth as We Know It
For you, I would suggest Your Best Birth, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, and a book called Birthing From Within which is a great right-brain prep for labor for first time moms.
The sheer amount of information out there is GREAT. What people think they know about birth can really be changed for the better, if they’re open to trusting the human body and how nature designed us.
I’m glad to hear from you, and keep trying. Let me know if you read or see any of those resources, what your husband thinks of them, and how your pregnancy is going. My email is Leslie.hh.kung at gmail dot com.
I’m so happy for you!
Leslie
P.S.
I really like the book entitled Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering by Dr. Sarah J. Buckley. One of my favs.
12/03/2009 at 3:28 pm
This was such a beautiful post. I really like the part about PETA *crewing themselves because you want to lie on luxurious furs! (I hate PETA in general and LOVE leathers and furs) Its one of my biggest pregnancy wishes my whole life to get ‘preggy pictures’ those beautiful sensual with being sexual picture of big bellies wrapped in gauze and beautiful pregnant bodies showcased to their best. I didn’t get them with my first pregnancy, but your post gave me very strong visual thoughts of a heavily pregnant woman curled on white furs with black lace or gauze covering the necessary spots. It just made me more sure I really want to try to get those pictures this pregnancy! What wonderful visuals you invoked.
05/05/2010 at 12:02 pm
i want all that, too! your blog is really outstanding!! i’m loving it… will come back for more later. saw you on facebook when emma mentioned your name in the link to the event in your town this weekend. you go mamma! go! i’m not pregnant but am thinking a lot about it in the near future…. stay strong mamma!
blanche